The stigma around psychotherapy: why we’re ashamed to see a psychologist
Solvio editorial team7 minutes
Contents
In a Gradus Research study at the beginning of 2025, 71% of Ukrainians said they had felt a need for psychological support. Only 17% turn to psychologists or psychotherapists. Between these two figures lie money, not knowing where to go, and shame.
Questions about money and not knowing where to go are relatively easy to resolve. Shame is much harder. Most often, it sounds like “I can manage on my own” or “others have it worse,” and a person may not realize for years that they themselves need help.
What stigma and self-stigma are
Stigma is the established belief that something is wrong with a person who seeks psychological support: they are weak, unstable, or “couldn’t cope.”
This belief operates on two levels. External stigma is what other people might say: parents, colleagues, a partner. Self-stigma lives inside: a person considers themselves weak for even thinking about therapy. The second is often harder to notice because it sounds like your own common sense: “others have it worse,” “that’s a waste of money,” “I just need to pull myself together.”
Self-stigma is usually what keeps people from seeking help the longest. General social campaigns telling people that “it’s normal to see a psychologist” have little effect on it: a person may fully agree that it’s normal for others, yet still not allow themselves to get help.
Where stigma comes from in Ukraine
People feel ashamed about psychotherapy in many countries. In Ukraine, several local factors add to this.
The first stems from Soviet-era psychiatry. At the time, seeing a doctor in this field meant being registered, having it recorded in official documents, and facing restrictions; psychiatry was sometimes used against dissidents. Psychologists in the modern sense barely existed. That’s why many older people still don’t see the difference between a psychologist and a psychiatrist and are genuinely afraid of the consequences.
There’s also the idea of “a psychologist for the crazy”: the belief that therapy is only for people who have lost their minds. Anything less serious was discussed around the kitchen table.
The second reason has to do with men. For many of them, asking for help still means admitting weakness. The war has only intensified this: when someone close to you is fighting, complaining about anxiety can seem inappropriate.
The third has appeared relatively recently, and it’s “others have it worse.” A person hasn’t lost their home, hasn’t been to the front, hasn’t buried loved ones, so they decide they don’t deserve help. But your anxiety doesn’t lessen because someone else is having a harder time right now, and a psychologist won’t ask you to prove that you’re suffering enough.
What has changed in recent years
The figures have shifted noticeably over three years. Here’s what a Gradus Research study for the “How are you?” program found:
Indicator | 2022 | early 2025 |
|---|---|---|
Felt a need for psychological support | 41% | 71% |
Turn to psychologists or psychotherapists | 7% | 17% |
At the beginning of 2025, 86% of respondents said more needs to be said about mental health, and 92% expressed support for people experiencing mental health difficulties.
Yet there’s still a gap between “it’s needed” and “I reached out.” Young people aged 18 to 24 most often cite cost (31%) and not knowing where to turn (27%) as barriers. Shame and fear are mentioned by 18%. It’s not the main reason, but it’s not a minor one either: that’s almost one in five.
What self-stigma sounds like from the inside
Inner shame rarely says, “I feel ashamed.” It usually presents itself as common sense.
What the mind says | How to look at it |
|---|---|
“I can manage on my own” | Maybe. But if several months have passed and things haven’t gotten easier, that’s already an answer |
“Others have it worse” | There’s no ranking of who deserves therapy based on how bad things are. If you’re feeling bad, that’s enough |
“I’m just lazy and weak-willed” | What looks like laziness often turns out to be exhaustion or depression. Willpower alone won’t make it go away |
“I’m not crazy” | Most people come to a psychologist about relationships, work, or stress. “Craziness” isn’t what they talk about |
“People at work or at home will find out” | A psychologist maintains confidentiality and doesn’t register anyone. You decide who finds out |
“The psychologist will just nod along for the money” | A good specialist works with a method and has a goal. If all they do is nod, that’s a reason to look for someone else |
When you recognize one of these phrases in yourself, you can already challenge it. As long as it seems like a fact, there’s nothing to argue with.
What can help you take the first step
The most intense shame is before the first session. Once a person is sitting in front of a psychologist, that feeling usually passes quickly. So it’s worth making the path to the first conversation as short as possible.
Start online. There’s no need to travel anywhere, sit in a waiting room, or explain to anyone where you’re going. You can talk from home, from your car, or from an empty meeting room at work.
Arrange just one appointment, with no commitment for a year. The first session is a chance to get acquainted: you see if the psychologist feels right for you, and they learn about your concerns. If it doesn’t feel like a good fit, you don’t owe anyone anything.
You don’t have to tell anyone if you don’t want to. You can see a psychologist just as privately as you see a dentist. We explained in detail what happens at a first appointment in the article “What to expect at your first session with a psychologist.”
Choose a specialist who fits your needs. If a psychologist clearly states that they work with anxiety, burnout, or relationships, it’s easier to trust that you won’t have to spend a long time explaining. In the Solvio directory, you can filter psychologists by topic, format, and price.
If “being registered” is what scares you most, read about the difference between a psychologist, psychotherapist, and psychiatrist. A psychologist doesn’t diagnose or prescribe medication, so most fears left over from Soviet times don’t apply.
How to support someone close to you who feels ashamed
If you see that someone is feeling bad but they won’t see a psychologist because “what am I, crazy?”, pressuring them usually only reinforces their resistance. A calm conversation works better.
Talk about what you’ve noticed, without judgment. “You’ve barely slept in recent months and you’ve become very quiet” is easier to hear than “You need treatment.”
Share your experience, if you have one. When someone close to you calmly says, “I see a psychologist, and it helps me,” that reduces shame more than any article.
Lower the barrier. Offer to look through the directory together, choose two or three specialists, or help with booking. The decision remains theirs; you’re simply removing the practical obstacles.
Don’t give ultimatums. “Either you see a psychologist or I’m leaving” turns therapy into a punishment, and the person comes to it feeling that they were forced.
If it’s about your partner, we have a separate article on what to do when they don’t want to see a psychologist.
If someone talks about not wanting to live, this is no longer about shame or beliefs. They need immediate help: call a crisis support hotline or arrange an urgent session with one of our specialists.